Shark Girl vs Veronika Vice
I don’t do Shark Girl matches. I’ll spare you the editorializing about why/how much I hate these matches.
The Canadian Ninjas vs Allison Danger/Jennifer Blake
Video recap of Volume 19. Words can’t describe how much I love the phrase “You’re nothing but a DIET CANADIAN!”
This crowd doesn’t boo heels very often, and the Canadian Ninjas are “cool heels”, so thy sure as hell aren’t getting booed here. Still, Perez deserves credit for her pre-match mic work, putting herself over as the “Master of Avoiding the Bodyslam”. This leads up to a challenge to Allison Danger, worth $1000 (Canadian dollars, of course), to bodyslam Portia Perez within the first minute of the match. The crowd starts a brief “USA” chant (followed by a “jailbait” chant), because hey, if you can’t be an ass on DVD, why buy tickets to a show that’s being taped?
This is without a doubt the best performance I’ve seen from Portia Perez in SHIMMER, from the bodyslam challenge, to her throwing a t-shirt at Allison Danger during Danger’s introduction by the ring announcer, she put forth a real effort to make the comedy in this match work. Allison Danger, meanwhile, is the perfect straight-man for this kind of match (“Do you know what I can do with a thousand Canadian?” she asks Blake just before the bell), and while I’m still not totally sold on Blake, she looks better in this match than any of her previous SHIMMER work. And lest one think that I am overlooking Nicole Matthews, she was great in this match as well, though her role in the Canadian Ninjas is generally in the background, letting Perez do most of the talking, I think that Nicole Matthews is the most consistent of the two in-ring, having had more consistently good singles matches on prior volumes that I’ve seen.
It is Matthews and Danger that start off the match, after Perez tags out immediately to win the ‘cannot be bodyslammed within the first minute’ bet. They trade wristlocks for a bit, then Danger tags in Blake, and Matthews tags out and we’re back to comedy (the good kind). Portia and Blake manage to construct a set up for Blake’s (usually ridiculous) ‘dropkick to a seated opponent’ spot that is at once totally obvious, but not completely insulting to one’s intelligence. Rather than the usual setup of:
1. Blake casually walking into the crowd,
2. asking to borrow a chair, and then
3. setting it up (all while her opponent is conveniently out of sorts), THEN
4. dragging her opponent (still unresisting) to the chair and sitting them down, THEN
5. getting a running start for the dropkick (with this exhausted opponent never either getting off the damn chair, or being so tired that they just slide off), and finally
6. doing the goddamn dropkick
Instead they just have Portia, playing the cowardly heel, take a powder after a slap exchange and roll outside, taking a chair to “catch a breather”. Jennifer Blake, channeling a Warner Bros. cartoon (in a good way) sneaks around the ring and hits a running dropkick on the seated Portia, knocks her around a bit, and then tosses her back inside.
This is getting way too close to play by play for my taste, so I’ll move for a moment to Prazak’s commentary here, which is actually quite good. As I said previously, I think he’s a much better announcer when working alone, and he puts over Blake as a rising young star without laying it on as thick as Allison Danger usually does. Getting back to the match, Perez and Matthews take control of the match with some fun heel work, and Blake plays the face-in-peril role very well. They really want Blake’s ‘machine-gun chops in the corner’ spot to catch on with the crowd, but I’m not sure that these guys know/care about Kenta Kobashi enough to get the joke.
The end comes a little suddenly, as a fairly light-looking kick to the shoulder from Perez sends Allison Danger into a paroxysm of overselling, leading to the Canadian Ninjas picking up the win via Fujiwara Armbar. If this is where they were headed, a bit of shoulder to set it up would have been nice. Allison Danger was supposedly recovered from the Air Raid Crush that broke her collarbone, so having it suddenly flare up after a simple kick (and a somewhat weak looking one at that) doesn’t do anything for the match. Happily, the post-match beatdown shenanigans add some much-needed heat to the heels, and Allison Danger forces us to believe in the injury by sheer force of will (and selling).
Amazing Kong vs Danyah
Danyah does a weird honorarium to the entrance of AJ Styles (with that sleeveless hoodie), sans the pyro. And that’s really the highlight of this whole thing. Well, besides the guy in the audience going “Oh God….OH MY GAWD!” as soon as Kong’s music starts. I feel like I should write more about an Amazing Kong match, but honestly…this is a special attraction, not a match in the strictest sense of the word. The crowd is into it for the mauling, and this match delivers. Danyah has a great physique, but has the problem of a lot of big rookies; she hasn’t learned how to sell her own size yet. It’s not much of a problem here, but it does haunt her other SHIMMER work, and if she’d given me cause to believe in her strength here, this might have been a more interesting match. As it is, it’s quite entertaining, as good as any Kong squash, complete with brief babyface comeback, and the Powerbomb of DOOOM.
Interview with LuFisto
Lufisto gives a pretty good promo, but nothing sticks in my memory so much as her losing her train of thought for a few seconds and staring at Becky Bayless’ cleavage. Even Bayless seemed surprised by that one. Given how reasonably professional the in-ring part of the show looks though, there’s no excuse for filming the interviews in a flourescent-lit hallway with an annoying, constant background buzz.
Daffney vs Cat Power
For most of this review, I’ve been watching the matches a second time, and using the second viewing to recall my initial thoughts when watching the match. In the case of this match, it isn’t necessary, because I remember my thoughts quite well: Why is Cat Power chain-wrestling with Daffney?
I mean really…this is the same Cat Power who, one volume ago (literally earlier in the same evening that this match was taped) was clubbering and powering her way through a tag match, and now she’s going hold for hold with Daffney? It makes no sense. Are they trying to establish some kind of credibility for Daffney? And if so, then why does she lose via knee injury on every occasion that she wrestles under her ‘real name’ (rather than as Shark Girl) in SHIMMER? The match is reasonably solid, but Daffney bounces from ‘serious’ to ‘comedy’ randomly throughout the match, which is either confusing, or hearkening back to her psycho character in WCW…take your pick. They build to the finish rather well, but Cat Power the technician isn’t nearly as interesting (or well executed) as Cat Power the mauler, and going 50/50 with Daffney (the first few minutes are dominated by Daffney, which is weird) doesn’t really do much for one’s aura of menace. And…didn’t Daffney give an interview in SHIMMER where she said her main interest was managing? Wasn’t she managing Ms. Chif? What happened to that?
Jetta and Rain vs Ashley Lane and Neveah
We start with a recap of Volume 18, which saw Lane and Neveah facing off against the Minnesota Home Wrecking Crew (Rain and Lacey), which kicked off their winning streak. Honestly, the sight of Jetta and Rain makes me reach for the ‘skip’ button these days, but I’m going to stick this one out.
. . .
Okay, to hell with this. I’m watching bad comedy based on how Jetta pronounces the word “water”, and I just don’t have the patience. I’m done.
Nikki Roxx vs Ariel
Ah, another face/face encounter. This is coming right after Ariel’s “breakout” match against Sara Del Rey on volume 19. Nikki Roxx wrestles a lot like the babyface Del Rey, but tends to sell more. She also swings a mean-looking Polish Hammer, the kind that warms my heart on a cold winter’s day.
This match is chapter 3 in the process of rehabbing Ariel from a mid-card jobber into an upper mid-card staple who can pop into their main events when they decide to wean themselves off of their TNA-contracted talent. The process (which started with a DQ win over Kong, and continued with her ‘respectable’ loss against Del Rey on volume 19) is moving along nicely, but it needs a kick in the ass from Ariel herself, in my opinion. I’m glad to see the booking finally giving her something to work with, but she needs something more…some interesting signature moves to set her apart, and a more interesting finisher than a simple Ace Crusher. She looks really solid in this match, pulling out some nice looking suplexes, but looking at how she just barely held onto Nikki Roxx after catching her before a powerslam shows part of the problem: while she’s a bit stocky, she’s not of a size well-suited to power wrestling. Some more highspots (flying heelkick, maybe?) would be nice. Moving on, after one DQ win and one “moral” victory, Ariel manages a win against an established name with a victory roll. Baby steps, baby steps. The rehab is almost complete.
Sara Del Rey vs Serena Deeb
I’ve already said everything I have to say about their respective look changes in the volume 19 review. I gotta say though, the constant ‘monster face’ is becoming a little grating. I appreciate the effort, but c’mon…look at the cover of Shimmer Volume 20. You see Sara, with the new makeup, with a look of cold, grim menace. She looks ready to stomp somebody. Now look at her in the match: eyes bulging, her mouth constantly biting her bottom lip…it makes her look like some kind of deranged rabbit, which I have to believe isn’t the effect she was going for.
Unlike the volume 19 match, there isn’t any “RAGE!” driving this match, so we start off a bit more slowly, with Del Rey’s usual chain wrestling. The differences between her face and heel style are subtle but noticeable at the start of the match. The execution of her holds is more aggressive, she strikes more often (including some excellent headbutts and a nice elbow that looks like it went straight into Deeb’s face), and she’s constantly making that damn rabbit face.
Goofy expressions aside, this match is good times. Deeb is at her best against an experienced opponent working heel, and this match offers some interesting contrasts to the previous favorite Deeb match, against Malia Hosaka on volume 14. Whereas Hosaka is a bit smaller than Deeb, Del Rey offers a larger opponent without being as overpowering as, say, Amazing Kong. Deeb works wonderfully from defense, which is harder to do than it sounds. Keeping a crowd’s interest while you’re having your legs worked over for 5-10 minutes is essential, but that doesn’t mean that everyone can do it well. Deeb does in this match. For Del Rey’s part, this match offers some additional definition to her new heel character. Unlike the match against Ariel, where she seemed like a completely different wrestler, here she wrestles like an asshole version of the American Angel character. If you watched this match and the volume 19 match in reverse order, you’d probably get a greater feeling of continuity, but that’s just nitpicking.
Deeb doesn’t get a lot of time on offense here, but she makes very good use of it, working in her big spots (monkey flip, hook punches, teasing the spear) to mount a babyface comeback that keeps the crowd into things. And because she’s been fairly well protected as a mid-carder prior to this, the results are a bit more effective at creating a sense of hope in the audience than the Ariel match on volume 19 did, but then again, that match was sold on the heat of Del Rey’s official heel turn and the beatdown on Ariel.
Last but not least, I’d like to point out that Dave Prazak sounded much better selling the drama of this match than he has in previous attempts. Often his “C’mon! This is absolutely uncalled for!” lines come off as canned, but his emotion feels less forced here. It’s hard to sell emotion laying down commentary tracks weeks or months after the show was taped, so I’ve got to tip my cap here.
LuFisto vs Cheerleader Melissa
I’m going to get this out of the way: you want to see this. Now in all likelihood, you already know that, but I have to be sure. If you’re a wrestling fan who likes rough and tumble wrestling where people actually look like they’d like to hurt somebody, this is going to be up your alley. My only wish is that this match had the kind of buildup it deserved, rather than just a hallway interview with LuFisto.
We start out with a brief (the key word is brief) bit of comedy, and then we’re straight into the clubbing forearms and sharp kicks. LuFisto is very vocal, and her grunts and hells add all of the soundtrack the match needs; while there’s nothing I can complain about with the commentary, it really seems unnecessary for this match. The only light strikes in the match come during a slap exchange, and even those are audible (and clearly the intent with the slaps was more of a bravdo thing than damaging offense). The return of evil Cheerleader Melissa is more than welcome, temporary though it may be. This isn’t about heels and faces though…it’s an “indie dream match”, and it shows. The crowd applauds for the big spots, and the closest we get to boos for bad behavior are “ohhhhh!” reactions for particularly brutal looking spots.
I won’t say that this is the best match I’ve seen from either woman, but it’s always a pleasure to watch a match with two great workers at the prime of their ability and experience; they’ve been around long enough that the crowd knows them well, and they know how to play their characters in the ring to perfection; even without interviews, you’ll know everything you need to know about LuFisto and Cheerleader Melissa from watching this. Once the match heats up, the crowd is hanging on every elbow and suplex, and who could blame them? The big moves here look like absolute murder, particularly the Kudo Driver. If I had to nitpick, there was a definite feeling of something missing, but I think that’s just the lack of history between the two. With no issue driving the match, and no previous encounters, there wasn’t a lot to build a story on. But this is exactly the kind of match that legendary feuds are built on. An excellent match in its own right, and a perfect appetizer for our main event.
Ms. Chif (c) vs Mercedes Martinez (Shimmer Title Match)
A video package re-introduces us to Mercedes Martinez, recapping the finishing stretches of her matches against Sara Del Rey on volume 8, Wesna on Volume 17, Cindy Rogers on volume 18, and Cheerleader Melissa on volume 19. I have to say I’m having a bit of trouble separating the “Saito Suplex” from the backdrop driver that Takeshi Morishima uses…the grip looks very similar. Ah well, it’s an awesome finish either way.
Again, to get this right out of the way: this is a far, far superior title defense to the volume 19 match against Jetta, and compares favorably against both Melissa/LuFisto from this same volume, and Mercedes/Melissa from volume 19.
Mercedes Martinez becomes my favorite-est person in SHIMMER by finally putting an end to the screaming silliness by immediately eye-gouging Ms. Chif the minute she starts up, then forearming her into oblivion. Ms. Chif recovers and the two of them go back and forth to start. Ms. Chif excels at making her opponent’s offense look incredible, and Martinez excels at looking like eight kinds of murder, so this is a match made in heaven. I had a feeling during this match that Martinez as working through some kind of a knee problem, but I can’t be sure. No complaints with the execution of this match from me. Mercedes’ strikes are a thing of beauty, and she makes a bruised purple mess out of Ms. Chif’s chest here. I wouldn’t say that they went “broadway” by any means, but they sure as hell put a lot into this match. There’s a snapmare into the railing midway through the match that looks particularly harsh.
There isn’t much more I can say about this without resorting to play by play; there are some absolutely incredible spots in this match, including a Desecrator reversal into an elevated Spinebuster that deserves to be in any and every Shimmer highlight reel. This is the kind of title defense that adds prestige to a title belt, and the promotion itself. This is probably the best Shimmer title match in the belt’s brief history, with my previous favorite, Volume 14′s Del Rey/Lacey encounter, coming in a respectable second.
